APD/PPD-ing While Black/Brown

Not being honest about what you are really dealing with can create inner turmoil and self-doubt

Provoking title, right? Well, unfortunately even antepartum and postpartum depression seems to be biased on who it “should” and “shouldn’t” effect. Here’s another thought-provoking statement. Black and Hispanic women are at a higher risk for mental-health issues, YET (pause for effect) are less likely to get the help they need to combat this illness.

Antepartum and Postpartum depression is more widely discussed today, thankfully, but in the Black and Hispanic community it’s shunned and thought to be a ‘white people thing’. What mother of color has the time to be depressed? Sis, you better suck it up and keep going. Oh girl, you’re alright. Go drink a detox tea and put on some Mary J music! Mija, go lay down you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Let me be one of the few to say, that is far from being true. Tea and Mary J. Blige music will more than likely suppress the problems you are facing. Your issues will still be there when you wake up, waiting for you, smiling at you. Ready to grab hold at your waist and throat and drag you down while trying to walk and tend to your newborn. Having struggled with depression during my second pregnancy and after birth, then again during my third and checking into a mental clinic! Yeah… this is far from a ‘white people thing’.

Let’s do some factoring of what myself and mostly all black women face during and after pregnancy. Because we all love factors, right?! No? Okay. Anyways, during my second pregnancy my children’s father and I were on a rocky foundation. We constantly fought over the smallest things. If that wasn’t bad enough, we were nowhere near financially prepared for another child. Then came the little remarks from family and friends. So let’s take those few factors I just mentioned.

· Unstable Relationship

· Financial hardship

· Family and friendship

There are tons more that our women face but then will turn from a simple blog to a novel.

Only 20% of Latinos who experience symptoms of a psychological disorder talk to a doctor about their symptoms

The Black and Brown community has a history of emphasizing strong women and self-sufficiency, which can minimize the chance of us seeking assistance when our sadness or irritability becomes more than “baby blues.” While 20 percent of women in general display symptoms of perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD), like anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, the number jumps to 44 percent for Black and Brown women, compared to 31 percent for white women. We face a plethora of social, cultural, and economic road bumps when considering mental health care.

I remember my nurse (she was Hispanic) looking at me while at a prenatal check-up and asked if I was okay? I said, “Sure, the baby is good, so I am good!” She then said something that I still can hear in my mind today.

“No, you’re not okay, and it’s okay to NOT be okay.”

The first woman that I could relate to telling me that it was okay to not be ‘okay’. That I didn’t have to be ‘superwoman’ 24/7? Honey… when I tell you the flood gates opened, I was balling!!!!! Okay… Not balling but that was the first time in a long time I allowed someone to see me cry and not hold back what I had been dealing with. I filled out a score sheet she gave to me and then she stepped outside. Fear began to set in. What is she going to do? Will she report me? Can she report me? So many questions and worries were going through my head. She came back with a paper. She informed me that the OB wrote a prescription for Zoloft to assist with my depression (my what?!!) and she also had a name of a woman who she went to help with her depression (your what?!!).

It is okay to not be okay...

“I’m not depressed, I think I’m just having a bad day, nurse.” Is what I kept saying. I never called the woman she referred me to. I looked her up and I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her. I was still in denial even after I had my second child and my primary care physician suggested she raise the dosage of my medication and gave me a list of people in my insurance network. I never called them either and stopped taking my meds eventually ( I don't suggest this without speaking to your doctor). I can’t afford this. What will this resolve? I can’t afford to pay someone to talk to. Especially someone who could not relate to me. I’m too busy for this.

Of the nearly 34 million people who identify themselves as African American, 22% live in poverty. (Office of the US Surgeon General, 2001). Nearly 25% of African Americans are uninsured and are also more likely to use emergency and/or primary care specialists but these services lack training in the diagnoses and treatment. Research has indicated Latinas are 37 percent more likely than other groups to suffer from postpartum depression however, only 20% who experience symptoms of a psychological disorder talk to a doctor about their symptoms, and only 10% contact a mental health professional. Also, according to the 2001 Surgeon General’s Report, African Americans account for just 2% of all psychologists in America today. So getting to a medically trained individual that I can afford AND can understand and relate to me is… well… you tell me.

What would people think of me? Am I even fit to be a mom? I shouldn’t be like this when I just had a baby. Sometimes, listening to your mom or you friends is not good for you. Growing up, it was instilled in me to keep pressing forward. Nobody has time to hear you cry and complain. Fix your face and go clean something! All this work to be done you think you have the luxury to mope around the house all day? This is what I heard growing up and while struggling with depression while pregnant. So what did I do? I allowed myself to be distracted by work, family, cleaning, etc and that was NOT the way I was supposed to handle it.

We work long hours, often run single-parent households, sometimes juggle our children’s school work on top of our own

Being preoccupied with life’s responsibilities can harm black and brown women’s mental health. We work long hours, often run single-parent households, sometimes juggle our children’s school work on top of our own, and even have to put up with the BS advice we get from our so-called friends when we just need to vent.

How can we fix this?

1) Identify:

One thing you must do is learn to identify the signs of APD and PPD early on. This is important, though it can be hard to find a mental health professional who understands the nuances of the Black and Brown experience. I will provide some links to get you started. I say this is important because this depression monster doesn’t just go away. This is a trial that will pop up every so often. Learn your unique signs so you can put a plan in action to avoid going to a dark place. PPD can happen up to 2 years after you give birth.

2) Your Counselor of a thousand:

Have ONE person in your circle that you are comfortable in sharing the most intimate details with. Someone who you know you can call on and they will listen without judgement, and help to steer you back on track. Make sure this person has no issues with being honest with you. You don’t want a ‘yes man’ as your counselor.

3) Your Plan:

Whether it be as simple as taking a day to focus on self-care, or finding a reputable physician who you can feel confident in, follow through with your plan. Don’t wait as long as I did to do anything. It’s honestly harder to dig yourself out of that sunken place if you hold in everything and walk around saying ‘I’m okay’.

Find your counselor of a thousand

Fast forward to now (I may go more in depth in another blog about my third pregnancy and mental clinic ‘stay’. It is still a touchy subject for me), I don’t think I would have ever thought to acknowledge myself having any form of depression had it not been for my nurse. The first person EVER to tell me ‘it’s okay to not be okay’. So if you haven’t heard it yet and have made it this far in my blog, “IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!” Let me repeat that for those who may have fell asleep, “IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!” You don’t have to be superwoman 24/7. I probably wouldn’t be where I am today had I of not been given the permission to not be okay. You don’t have to be a strong, independent woman like society tells you to. Find someone to talk to about what is going on. You will come to realize that more black and brown women than you believe are having the same symptoms and silent concerns as you.

“Love thine own soul, and comfort thy heart, remove sorrow far from thee: for sorrow hath killed many, and there is no profit therein.”

Ecclesiasticus 30:23

Helpful links:

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Diverse-Communities/African-Americans?source=post_elevate_sequence_page---------------------------

http://www.blackwomenbirthingjustice.org/?source=post_elevate_sequence_page---------------------------

https://postpartumstress.com/get-help-2/do-i-have-ppd/?source=post_elevate_sequence_page---------------------------